Take that, gay cowboys

So Robbie and Gary think it's hilarious to have a spoof Brokeback Mountain vid for their new single. The best part of making up is when you're making up, goes the song, and after 15 years apart the two songsters suggest with barely suppressed smirks and lingering looks that they might be more than just chums. There were a lot of gay rumours about virtually all of Take That back in the day, so perhaps this is a sly reference to that now they're both married chaps (Robbie just recently). Brokeback Mountain was ultimately a very moving love story with a great deal of subtletly. This has none.

Pub opera anyone?

To the Soho Theatre this week to see a cracking new version of La Boheme. I'm not a huge fan of opera, though I used to go and see the more theatrical productions at ENO in the Eighties. I don't really know enough to appreciate the music but, more crucially, I find the psychology of the characters and plotlines simplistic in comparison with theatre. Take Puccini's La Boheme: in just five minutes, Rodolfo and the tubercular Mimi are swearing undying love. Bit OTT, really, but I guess that's opera for you.

All praise to OperaUpClose, then, whose modern-day, Soho-set version, with four casts of young (now there's a refreshing change for opera) classically trained singers, has been playing at the unlikely venue of the Cock Tavern Theatre in Kilburn, for a record-breaking 6 months before transferring to Soho Theatre, a venue with lively programming and reasonably priced tickets right in the West End.

Robin-Norton-Hale's captivating production - in which the second act café scene takes place down in the theatre bar, with cast and chorus mingling with the punters - is a complete delight. Definitely one for anyone who wants to give opera a whirl.

Thanks, D&G!

So Dolce & Gabbana reckon the best men's style is to be found on the streets of London, not Milan. Well I guess they would say that when they are launching their new outfits for Chelsea FC.

Nice, though, from those great arbiters of sexy style (if not always the best tailoring). Italian men are among the best dressed on the planet, with an insouciant sense of what looks good - but they tend to resemble Identikit fashion plates.

So London comes top when it comes to looking good, simply by dint of our sense of individuality and our ability to mix things up a bit. All very true but one of the biggest looks coming in is that of the Italian gigolo – all slicked-back hair, shirts open as far as decency will allow (or not) and sockless feet in slip-ons. Time to search for your inner lounge lizard.

Gok does men

Interesting to see Gok Wan do his first makeover on a bloke in last week's How To Look Good Naked. The chap in question certainly had his demons, having suffered from serious curvature of the spine but now lacking in confidence because he was so skinny. (Would that we all had such problems as being thin!) To bulk up he would wear layers of T-shirts under everything. But like most people on this programme, he suffered from his own perceived image of his body not reflecting reality.

Of course, when it came to dressing the man, Gok could have put him in anything and he would have looked great - especially the skinny suit he was given. Not exactly a challenge, then. I like what Gok does but perhaps he is less confident in dressing men. You'd think, as a gay man, it would be no problem. But then I could never dress women....

Roll up, roll up!

Is it just me, or is the fashion for rolling up the bottom of your trousers really annoying? Not only does it reveal an expanse of - often sockless - ankle (not the most exciting part of the anatomy), it shortens the leg line to stump proportions. Yes, it's another summer fashion best left to youngsters and those who have the physical resemblance to a rake, but still there are those on the streets who should know better.

Just take a look at the wedding pics of Swedish singer Peter Joback (should have been this year's entry to Eurovision instead of the dirge they sent) to his boyf in Stockholm last week. Not one but two sets of hairy ankle on view. This just won't do...

Let's be beastly to the English

I wouldn't normally comment on football as I can't abide it. Always have. Always will. I'd rather roll around naked in a vat of tapioca with Theresa May.

But the inept display by the England team in the World Cup just confirms that these days our footballers are a spoiled, overpaid bunch of lazy tossers who don't seem to have any passion or hunger when wearing the Three Lions shirt. And if that nasty Mr Capello tries to instil some kind of discipline, they yell boo-hoo, foul!

They couldn't even beat Algeria. In their first match, the excuse for our butterfingered goalie letting one in from the USA was about the new ball used this year. The Germans, it seems, have been practising with the new ball for months! It's not exactly rocket science, is it?

What palls most is the amount of money these guys are paid when the rest of the country is struggling financially and many are losing their jobs. Their performance is just an insult, a kick in the teeth. And, yes, footballers have short careers but they still do quite nicely, thank you. Have you ever heard of a poor ex footballer?

This all, of course, brings me to this year's Eurovision, a subject on which I'm on home rather than away ground. What happened in Oslo? Oh yes, Germany won and the UK came last. Perhaps Germany did well because they took some trouble in choosing their song and performer this year. Unlike us, they actually put in some hard work. I'm sensing a pattern here....

I am not Spartacus

Is it because of the rise of sword-and sandals-epics on film and TV that gladiator sandals have become popular with women? Well, now it seems, style fans, that men can get them too. Wearing them won't turn you into Russell Crowe (should you want to turn into a scruffy, arrogant, potty-mouthed Aussie), and will make you look like a complete prat.

I have a general gripe with summer footwear for men, even the regular sandal. Why should you end up paying a fortune for a few small bits of leather stitched together (Prada £250, Jil Sander £345, John Lobb £465)? Even at the cheaper end (Aldo, £70!) they're overpriced - and don't look that great. Feet aren't the most attractive part of the body, though the fact that I have a "criminail" infection on one big toe probably makes me as jaundiced about open footwear as the colour of the affected toenail (apologies).

Still, at least sandals can sometimes look cool and are a sight better than the ghastly flip-flop (often seen at this time of year with nasty baggy cargo shorts and a tatty tank top), which should ONLY be worn at the beach or on hols. In town they're definitely a no-no!